Loss & Bereavement 

This is a page to support anyone experiencing grief or loss or as a support for those caring for someone who is grieving. Below you will find specific resources and content to support you through the grieving process.

Coping with bereavement and loss can be a difficult and emotional time and everyone copes with and manages these emotions differently. 

What is Bereavement?

This is the experience of losing someone close to us to death.  Bereavement is often categorised as grief and is the stage when emotions are most heightened.  Grief is the emotional journey we all pass through as we adjust to the death of a loved one.  There is no time frame for grief and it can be experienced when we lose  a family member, friend, colleague, pet etc.  The bereavement process impacts us all differently and we will experience it both physically and emotionally.  Bereavement is person specific and everyone will experience it in their own way.

It is also common for people who are expecting someone to die to experience what is known as anticipatory grief.  The emotions attached to this are very similar to those felt after a person has passed away but they can sit alongside an acute sadness and concern for the person who is dying.

What is Loss?

A significant change in circumstances can also trigger feelings of loss e.g. the end of a relationship, moving house, changing job etc.  Feeling this overwhelming sense of loss can cause a shift in our mental health as we struggle to come to terms with why we are feeling this way.  Discomfort and fear around non death loss can mean we are afraid to share how we are feeling and avoid any difficult conversations.  Grieving a loss of any kind is important as it helps us accept and cope with the changes that are happening so we can move forward and heal emotionally.

Impact of Loss and Bereavement 

The experience of loss or bereavement is a unique process for each of us.  How we react, behave and move forward will depend on our own coping mechanisms.   It is important to recognise that grief is a valid response to loss of any kind, however alongside this it is important to be mindful when we are discussing loss to remember the finality of losing a loved one is the most permanent loss most of us will ever experience.  The emotional journey grief  sets us upon  is often tumultuous and fraught with societal pressures and expectations.  You do not need to tackle this journey alone, there is help and support available for those suffering a bereavement or loss.

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Helplines

Other Helpful Resources

Links & Websites

• Barnardo’s Child Bereavement Service -  A leaflet on How to explain death to children and young people and help them cope.
• Bereavement Register - Helping to stop unwanted direct mail to the deceased. If someone you know has died, we can reduce the amount of unwanted marketing post being sent to them, stopping painful daily reminders.
• NI DIRECT - Practical information like the Bereavement Service - reporting a death, Bereavement Support Payment , Funeral Expenses Payments, The Child Funeral Fund, Widowed Parent's Allowance
• Lullaby Trust - When a baby or young child dies suddenly and unexpectedly, designed to try and help support families after the loss of a baby or young child. (pdf download)
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Workbooks

• NHS Inform - This guide uses cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) techniques to help cope with the experience of grief. Working through this guide can take around 30 to 40 minutes, but you should feel free to work at your own pace. (Online workbook)
• Mind Remake Project - Cassie Jewell is a mental health clinician who developed this Coping with Loss workbook in response to a personal loss as she processed it, learned to cope, and found a way to move forward. (Printable Workbook)
• More Coming Soon... Do you have any suggestions? You can join the conversation at the bottom of this page!

Videos

• What Nobody Tells You About Grief and Loss - Dr Julie explains in this video the grieving process and how it changes over time.
• What is the lasting impact of grief? - Andy Langford, the Clinical Director for Cruse Bereavement Care outlines some common experiences of long-lasting grief.
• Communicating Grief - Andy Langford, the Clinical Director for Cruse Bereavement Care outlines some methods for communicating and understanding feelings after someone dies.
• Day of Reflection: Sam's Story - In this video, Sam shares her story of how the volunteers at Cruse Bereavement Care helped her through a difficult time after the death of her Dad.
• Overcoming Bereavement - A short video filmed in the Foyle Cruse office for their Hope Again program, in which they hope to dispel the fear, particularly in young people, of seeking support after bereavement.
• 5 Things About Grief No One Really Tells You - Most people know the common five to seven stages of grief: Shock, Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Testing, and Acceptance. Everyone experiences these stages in entirely different ways. Truth is, there is more to grieving than most people realize and Psych2Go explain the different ways grief can affect you.
• The Physical Symptoms of Grief - When you learn the physical symptoms of grief, you can be more equipped to address it and work through the process of grief and loss. In this video we’ll learn from grief expert Dr Dorothy Holinger the author of The Anatomy of Grief, how grief shows up in the body and what we can do to work through it. 
• "I wish I could hear their voice again" | Isaac Gibson | TEDxQueensUniversityBelfast - An overview of Isaac's research project "From My Perspective" which aims to provide end-of-life hospice patients with the opportunity to leave audio-recorded memories for their loved ones in a unique and interesting way.
• We don't "move on" from grief. We move forward with it | Nora McInerny - In a talk that's by turns heartbreaking and hilarious, writer and podcaster Nora McInerny shares her hard-earned wisdom about life and death. Her candid approach to something that will, let's face it, affect us all, is as liberating as it is gut-wrenching. Most powerfully, she encourages us to shift how we approach grief.
• Grief Expert Julia Samuel on the Secret to Coping With Death | Lorraine - Julia Samuel talks about her long career caring for those suffering from grief. 
• More Coming Soon... Do you have any suggestions? You can join the conversation at the bottom of this page.

Books

• Grief Works: Stories of Life, Death and Surviving by Julia Samuel - A wise and compassionate book full of insight and understanding that would help anyone experiencing grief, or those surrounding them (Amazon.co.uk)
• On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross David Kessler - Written with great compassion, heart and their skill and experience is in every sentence. (Amazon.co.uk)
• The Grieving Teen: A Guide for Teenagers and Their Friends by Helen Fitzgerald by Helen Fitzgerald (Amazon.co.uk)
• Lost in the Clouds: A gentle story to help children understand death and grief (Difficult Conversations) by DK and Tom Tinn Disbury (Amazon.co.uk)
• I wasn't ready to say goodbye by Brook Noel & Pamela D Blair PhD - Written by two authors who have experienced it first hand, this book has offered solace to over one-hundred fifty-thousand people, ranging from seniors to teenagers and from the newly bereaved to those who lost a loved one years ago.
• More Coming Soon... Do you have any suggestions? You can join the conversation at the bottom of this page.

Apps

• Apart of Me - It was co-created by experts in child psychology and bereaved young people, and translates bereavement counselling techniques into a magical 3D world. Available on IOS & Android, entirely Free.
• Untangle Grief - holds your hand through all the emotional, practical, legal and financial challenges that come after a bereavement, making it easier to rebuild your life. Available on IOS & Android, in app purchases.
• Grief Works: Self Care & Love - was created to help you navigate your grief after the death of a loved one, soothe your pain and build your strength over time. Available on IOS & Android, in app purchases.
• More Coming Soon... Do you have any suggestions? You can join the conversation at the bottom of this page.

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