My Experience She Saved Me

We've collaborated with The Mental Health Forum to present personal stories from their Flights of Hope project, which is entirely crafted and overseen by members who are service users and carer members. We extend our gratitude to The Mental Health Forum & the writers for granting us permission to feature these stories on our platform, with the shared aspiration that they will touch and support a wider audience.

In the 80’s I was all denim, permed bob, smiles and secrets.

My photo album shows lots of happy youthful days because they were plentiful and real. My childhood and early adult years were indeed filled with loving family and good friends, but underneath all that occasionally crept nameless darkness I could only talk about with a Samaritans helpline. 

By this age I had already established self-harm as a regular coping tool and had had two suicidal crises - and all of that hidden because I didn't understand it and had no words to try to explain it to the people I loved in an otherwise good life. 

I look at her now, and I want to thank her. She saved me.

Before people would use words like ‘recovery’ and ‘self-care’ and before the world saw mental illness with kinder eyes, she had the courage to reach out and talk to someone. She kept her secrets because those were different days, but she still found a way to keep herself safe.

I’ve travelled a convoluted and challenging journey in the years since, yet even with diagnosis, treatment, support, further crisis, and new recovery-focused skills and approaches, I still trust the strangers on the other end of a helpline phone call every now and then.

I also have people around me now with whom I can talk about my mental health openly if I need to, and I know how and where to get different kinds of help or information as I need it.

I am proactive in my condition management, and I have people around me who challenge me to grow and live my best life. 

She gifted me that.

She saved me, one small phone call at a time.

A note from the Flights of Hope Team

We believe that lived experience stories like those through our 'Flights of Hope' project and Find Help NI’s ‘Inspire Me Blog’ can help create individual and community resilience, and even help to save lives. They can also help to bring a positive and hopeful balance to the mental wellness and suicide-prevention narrative online in a way that can challenge stigma and encourage people to recognise that its okay to struggle, and to seek help when you need it.